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throat lump

by ikea graveyard

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1.
i never thought that we’d do this again ever since the last time i left philly two times the capacity you have explored me i’ll stay wrapped up in your hotel sheets you’ll adore me, i just want to be happy i don’t want to be a boy i don’t want to be a girl i am your god so please treat me like i exist wait, don’t exit come lick my pearly white teeth wait, don’t touch me i don’t kiss boys, boys kiss me come lick my pearly white teeth pretty like your skin when it’s pressed up against me 89 days between please come find me
2.
can you tell i sleep alone it's just hard to keep these eyes closed if i talk to you, i'll stay awake i'm tired at work and i sleep on my break because i'm sad, again. i just want to be your catherine not go out like anne boleyn you use me to fill your time please, keep me in mind oh you've got green eyes oh you've go blue eyes oh you've got gray eyes and i've never met anyone quite like you before and i don't want to again i'm not priority i'm convenience
3.
3:27 03:16
3:27am 21’s a habit i get mad when you fall asleep think of you when i sleep, so i see you in my dreams when will it end? is this what it feels like to have your lungs bruise twice so take shallow breaths, you just need some rest kid and i’ll dig a hole that we can crawl into you don’t want to see me, but can i tell you i miss you? 9:27am and i will call again i don’t see you in my dreams my thoughts for you are empty now my dreams are so empty when will it end? is this what it feels like the throat lump before you cry it feels permanent you proved me right again. and i’ll dig a hole that i (can) will crawl into can i tell you i miss you? 11:27pm you fall asleep again, call, apologize again gladly, i died in my sleep leave a message at the beep don’t try to reach me.
4.
5.
do whatever you want, i know i'll make it though deplete what i'm doing, deplete what i'm doing i knew it was you all along, buried in cigarettes and alcohol deplete what i'm doing, deplete what i'm doing and i know sometimes life is hard, but you are worth living for i knew it was you all along buried in cigarettes and alcohol

about

thank you to my brother (love you), ems, emily r. for letting me borrow her guitar, barb & ace, shitty vista, and matt art/photography/everything.

credits

released June 6, 2013

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ikea graveyard Vista, California

bedroom + porch recordings

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